okay. so like long story short, i fell in love with someone who was engaged, vice versa, and from there i moved in with her & he fiancé, just known as the “friend”. and we’re nine months into our relationship, she’s married, and i’m just depressed, and i don’t know how much longer i can put up with being hidden. & there’s been multiple conversations about her possibly divorcing but she doesn’t know yet because she doesn’t know how to go about it. so i don’t know what to do. my hurt from all of this has just turned into anger, and i’m constantly anxious because i feel like i’ll just get hurt in the long run. ty for listening lol. this is just the simplified version.

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okay. so like long story short, i fell in love with someone who was engaged, vice versa, and from there i moved in with her & he fiancé, just known as the “friend”. and we’re nine months into our relationship, she’s married, and i’m just depressed, and i don’t know how much longer i can put up with being hidden. & there’s been multiple conversations about her possibly divorcing but she doesn’t know yet because she doesn’t know how to go about it. so i don’t know what to do. my hurt from all of this has just turned into anger, and i’m constantly anxious because i feel like i’ll just get hurt in the long run. ty for listening lol. this is just the simplified version.

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😤 Vent
okay. so like long story short, i fell in love with someone who was engaged, vice versa, and from there i moved in with her & he fiancé, just known as the “friend”. and we’re nine months into our relationship, she’s married, and i’m just depressed, and i don’t know how much longer i can put up with being hidden. & there’s been multiple conversations about her possibly divorcing but she doesn’t know yet because she doesn’t know how to go about it. so i don’t know what to do. my hurt from all of this has just turned into anger, and i’m constantly anxious because i feel like i’ll just get hurt in the long run. ty for listening lol. this is just the simplified version.
gretta
That rough, your poor heart. Waiting augh
marbear
did you know that they were getting a divorce from the start?
no, we met in November, she told me she was engaged and I kinda said from there like “hey don’t wanna fall for you just to get hurt” and I didn’t listen to myself. So they got married in may and have been ever since
Like I’m there for her more than her husband.
But she still loves him along with loving me, so it’s a stalemate. She doesn’t wanna hurt him but she’s hurting me?
marbear
well, does the husband love her?
I think so? He says it, but doesn’t really show it
Like at all
marbear
how long have they been together
Four years 🥲
marbear
that’s a long time. he could be losing love for her or vice versa especially is she is with you. if she truly loved her husband she wouldn’t even
marbear
think about being with someone else
marbear
so the love isn’t there somehow
gretta
Are you guys intimate?
She’s told me multiple times that I’ve shown her more love than he ever has and I make her feel like her genuine self. And like that hurts to know that I can do all of this and I’m still being hurt. & yes we’re intimate, very much so lol.
And I agree with it being love but not really love, yanno?
marbear
yeah it seems like she needs to make up her mind because she’s just lengthening the situation on both ends
marbear
and it’s setting everyone up for failure
gretta
How long would you be able to hang in?
& like when we’re intimate, I give her the time she needs etc, and when she’s intimate with him, he just kinda uses her and pressures her into it. & I agree
And I don’t know
I’m exhausted already.
So tired.
gretta
That would be so draining
It’s just constant hurt. I’ve been hanging in for nine months. I’d say maybe two years before I just say whatever, hurt is hurt & im not doing it anymore
gretta
Lots of hope but let downs
And she constantly says she’s tired of hurting me
RIGHT
marbear
i have never been in the situation you are in, i don’t know how it feels but it would hurt for me if i was with someone who was with someone else
I know.
gretta
She is like two people
Like I feel shitty because I feel like a home wrecker, but she also made the first move and it kinda went from there
jack17
I understand what you mean it hurts to know that
joonie
remove urself fully from her. find someone else or focus on urself. truly u don’t deserve to be pushed around just for when she needs u.
marbear
it seems like she can’t make up her mind. you don’t need to be waiting for someone who is indecisive. it’s better to let go now rather than waste tim
joonie
i think she’s too secure to want to even let go of her husband. it’s been four years, its unlikely it’ll happen anytime soon
but the love i have for her is more than i’ve ever felt? and like when we do have time alone, i feel nothing but love.
She married him for security, I swear
And that’s all it is
marbear
how do you know that she truly loves you?
joonie
you can love someone, yes. but do you deserve to be someone’s second option? u can stay, but u already know ur answer on how u feel about it
gretta
What kind of reaction from him – if he finds out? Aggressive?
she sees me for me, and no one else has ever cared the way she does. and she is cautious about how she acts with her husband and me. and she’s always asking me where my mind is at, etc. i know she loves me and cares for me. but it’s still hard to see it when we get to our lowest. & I think he’d be like passive aggressive, like seeking revenge type of person.
joonie
i mean you pursued the relationship even when u knew she was engaged. it’s all up to you. it seems she’s not gonna take a risk anytime soon.
i agree with that also. i know i have some part in this. but i feel like it’s worth fighting for, i’m just afraid that me holding on isnt gonna last in the long run
marbear
they both pursued the relationship it seems, you both knew that she was married and you continued on knowing she was married. it seems like the ball
marbear
is in her court to make the decision. however who knows when she will.
gretta
What would be your breaking point.
pretty sure the breaking point would be if she has kids with him.
marbear
if i were you, my personal opinion would be to leave the situation because she’s indecisive and can’t choose. i personally like to be someone’s only
marbear
option
joonie
try to talk to her about it and see what y’all want in the future. youll get ur answer from that
because i can’t break up a whole family. and we’ve talked about it.
she said she doesn’t know
marbear
if she doesn’t want to be with him, she won’t be with him. but it seems like she is still with him. so who knows if she will leave
joonie
yeah my personal option, even if i loved that person to death. i wouldn’t stay, especially when it’s taken this long for them to still be indecisive
gretta
Doesn’t know seems like “stay married” maybe
and it’s also harder to leave considering i live with her & have nowhere else to go.
and indeed
she always just tells me to trust her
like put my trust in her that she won’t hurt me
but like being her maid of honor at her wedding was pure hurt.
joonie
wait a minnnnn
😂 her husband literally just thinks we’re best friends, it’s definitely a really weird situation
marbear
is she bisexual then ?
joonie
this got even juicer…
yes, but like her husband refuses to believe it 🤠
joonie
has she came out to her family? that could be a part of it. she doesn’t want to let go of him because of relationships that might be affected¿
that’s what it is. no one knows, she’s just closeted
and that’s why I don’t want to push anything on her, because I don’t want her to feel like I’m forcing her to come out
joonie
i see where u stand on this
joonie
i mean it’s truly up to her then
i know, that’s genuinely what i’m terrified of. like she’s her best self with me, and i don’t want her to regret her decision if it is to stay with him
but i also know i have no control of that
but my thing is, if i’m gone, then i’m gone, i don’t want anymore hurt. and me telling her that hurts her because she doesn’t want to lose me
joonie
she needs to understand what she wants, and what she’s gonna do. it’s entirely up to her. i hope you talk to her about this, and what u want in her
i think i will tonight
it gives me straight anxiety lol
like just the unknown
gretta
Hang in there
joonie
sometimes for someone to actually take action, is them learning that, the person they relied on the most won’t be there for them.
but i guess that sums up this convo, i’ll lyk how it goes. and i’m gonna talk to her tonight
that’s also true
gretta
Wish you the best.
thank you for listening <3 i appreciate it
joonie
i hope it goes well. remember that no matter what you both deserve to be happy, and sometimes it’s different paths
thank you 🖤

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September 15, 2021Uncategorizedpatthehumanbecause, dont, feel, hurt, just, know, like, love, shes, want



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