I’ve been through a lot these past 2+ years. Was diagnosed with something I was told I wouldn’t survive with. As I was in the hospital and the day before I was to be discharged my wife of 7 years told me out of the blue she wanted to separate. As I struggled with my disease I had a peace come over me that I knew I would be ok. I was really heavy and was on oxygen 24 hours a day for almost 2 years starting in 2019. I was told by all the doctors that I’d never get off it. But I knew different. As of March of this year I’m completely off oxygen. And from October of 2020 to August of 2021 i went from 273lbs to 160lbs. All from nutrition, exercise, and a perseverance I never knew I had. Since I’m 40yrs old, I had come to terms with never being in a relationship again. Because of what happened to me with my last relationship and because I view love as the most important thing in this world, I just didn’t want to put myself out there again and I was fine with it. I have other passions and purposes and I knew exactly where I was heading. Then a few months back I met someone. Someone more special to me than I could have ever imagined. The way I felt about her I just honestly didn’t know existed. It seems weird to say that I’ve never experienced it before since I was married and had also been in serious relationships previously. But this was/us different. It wasn’t infatuation or anything like that. The first time I met her she was working and had a hair net on and a mask so all I could see were her eyes. I didn’t know what she looked like at all but the connection I had with her I’d never felt before. Long story short…we started dating a month ago and from the jump both her and I were talking marriage. We both had been through some stuff and were alike in terms of our passions, likes, and everything else for the most part. I genuinely never felt happier to be with anyone and it really felt as though all I had been through was worth it because it led me to this moment. And everything she has said these past few months have only solidified what I knew our future would be like together. Then out of nowhere yesterday she tells me that she wants a break. I know what that means. I wasn’t born yesterday. Maybe she really does just need time…but to me I feel as though she’s gone forever and it hurts a lot… I have a huge heart and I’m a fighter. But I know if I fight for her it would only push her away even more. I’m still holding out hope that she ends up feeling better and coming back to me. But I know it’s not likely. I know what I bring to the table. I know that I’m rare in terms of what I would do for someone in terms of taking care of them and that all I want is to give her the life I know she deserves. But she is just in a bad place right now and I can’t do anything about it. I apologize that I’m rambling on. I just feel extremely alone and lost right now. I’ve listened to what I felt was the right thing to do for 2+ years now. Whether it was God showing me the way or something else. I’ve proven all the doctors wrong. I was the one comforting my family and friends as I was “dying” in the hospital and after my ex-wife left me. I had so much optimism and hope. And these same feelings of me “knowing” what I’m doing led me to this special girl who means the world to me. But now that it looks like it’s over…I’m questioning everything. Out of all of the things I’ve “known” these past few years. She was what I was most sure about. But now if this is truly over like it feels…I don’t know anything anymore. I’m lost. I’m alone. And I don’t know how to feel better. I’d never do anything to myself. That’s not who I am. I’ve been to very dark places with everything I’ve been through and this is another very dark one. I just hate this so much and I feel absolutely horrible inside. I kept hoping I’d get a text from her today. I kept holding out hope and being optimistic. But all that does is make me feel worse and worse. It would almost be better if she would just officially end it. But I don’t want that to happen. Even if there’s the slightest chance she wants us back together I have to hold out hope. But that hope is what’s eating at me and killing me inside because I know it’s not likely at all. I’m just in a very bad place right now. I’ve been this way since last night and I don’t know what to do. Love and a relationship is the most important thing in life to me. I thought I hit the jackpot. But now it just really feels like I was an idiot for thinking that I deserved someone as great as her. It just feels like I keep getting tested or punished or something. I know I’m not perfect at all. Far from it. But God made me with such a big heart and willingness to share and take care of others, especially a significant other. But now I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. It feels like I’m just talking in circles now. I just downloaded this app because I’ve had such a rough time. I don’t even know if anyone uses it. I feel like a complete fool for thinking that I actually deserved this girl. She was more than anything I could have ever dreamed of. And all she says right now…well yesterday was that she isn’t being fair to me and that I don’t deserve what she’s doing because she’s going through so much stuff. I don’t like the it’s not you it’s me stuff and that’s what it feels like. If she truly knows me and loves me, she’d know now much I can love and how big my heart is and that I don’t care about her baggage or things in her past at all. She’d know that I want to be there for her through anything and that there’s nothing that we couldn’t handle as a team. I’ve told her that stuff countless times. I’m sorry I keep talking. I’m just lost right now. Thanks for listening if you made it this far…

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This group chat is in response to:
I’ve been through a lot these past 2+ years. Was diagnosed with something I was told I wouldn’t survive with. As I was in the hospital and the day before I was to be discharged my wife of 7 years told me out of the blue she wanted to separate.

As I struggled with my disease I had a peace come over me that I knew I would be ok. I was really heavy and was on oxygen 24 hours a day for almost 2 years starting in 2019. I was told by all the doctors that I’d never get off it. But I knew different.

As of March of this year I’m completely off oxygen. And from October of 2020 to August of 2021 i went from 273lbs to 160lbs. All from nutrition, exercise, and a perseverance I never knew I had.

Since I’m 40yrs old, I had come to terms with never being in a relationship again. Because of what happened to me with my last relationship and because I view love as the most important thing in this world, I just didn’t want to put myself out there again and I was fine with it. I have other passions and purposes and I knew exactly where I was heading.

Then a few months back I met someone. Someone more special to me than I could have ever imagined. The way I felt about her I just honestly didn’t know existed. It seems weird to say that I’ve never experienced it before since I was married and had also been in serious relationships previously.

But this was/us different. It wasn’t infatuation or anything like that. The first time I met her she was working and had a hair net on and a mask so all I could see were her eyes. I didn’t know what she looked like at all but the connection I had with her I’d never felt before.

Long story short…we started dating a month ago and from the jump both her and I were talking marriage. We both had been through some stuff and were alike in terms of our passions, likes, and everything else for the most part.

I genuinely never felt happier to be with anyone and it really felt as though all I had been through was worth it because it led me to this moment. And everything she has said these past few months have only solidified what I knew our future would be like together.

Then out of nowhere yesterday she tells me that she wants a break. I know what that means. I wasn’t born yesterday. Maybe she really does just need time…but to me I feel as though she’s gone forever and it hurts a lot…

I have a huge heart and I’m a fighter. But I know if I fight for her it would only push her away even more.

I’m still holding out hope that she ends up feeling better and coming back to me. But I know it’s not likely.

I know what I bring to the table. I know that I’m rare in terms of what I would do for someone in terms of taking care of them and that all I want is to give her the life I know she deserves.

But she is just in a bad place right now and I can’t do anything about it.

I apologize that I’m rambling on.

I just feel extremely alone and lost right now. I’ve listened to what I felt was the right thing to do for 2+ years now. Whether it was God showing me the way or something else. I’ve proven all the doctors wrong. I was the one comforting my family and friends as I was “dying” in the hospital and after my ex-wife left me. I had so much optimism and hope.

And these same feelings of me “knowing” what I’m doing led me to this special girl who means the world to me. But now that it looks like it’s over…I’m questioning everything. Out of all of the things I’ve “known” these past few years. She was what I was most sure about.

But now if this is truly over like it feels…I don’t know anything anymore. I’m lost. I’m alone. And I don’t know how to feel better.

I’d never do anything to myself. That’s not who I am. I’ve been to very dark places with everything I’ve been through and this is another very dark one.

I just hate this so much and I feel absolutely horrible inside. I kept hoping I’d get a text from her today. I kept holding out hope and being optimistic. But all that does is make me feel worse and worse.

It would almost be better if she would just officially end it. But I don’t want that to happen. Even if there’s the slightest chance she wants us back together I have to hold out hope.

But that hope is what’s eating at me and killing me inside because I know it’s not likely at all.

I’m just in a very bad place right now.

I’ve been this way since last night and I don’t know what to do.

Love and a relationship is the most important thing in life to me. I thought I hit the jackpot. But now it just really feels like I was an idiot for thinking that I deserved someone as great as her.

It just feels like I keep getting tested or punished or something. I know I’m not perfect at all. Far from it.

But God made me with such a big heart and willingness to share and take care of others, especially a significant other. But now I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.

It feels like I’m just talking in circles now. I just downloaded this app because I’ve had such a rough time. I don’t even know if anyone uses it.

I feel like a complete fool for thinking that I actually deserved this girl. She was more than anything I could have ever dreamed of. And all she says right now…well yesterday was that she isn’t being fair to me and that I don’t deserve what she’s doing because she’s going through so much stuff.

I don’t like the it’s not you it’s me stuff and that’s what it feels like.

If she truly knows me and loves me, she’d know now much I can love and how big my heart is and that I don’t care about her baggage or things in her past at all. She’d know that I want to be there for her through anything and that there’s nothing that we couldn’t handle as a team. I’ve told her that stuff countless times.

I’m sorry I keep talking. I’m just lost right now. Thanks for listening if you made it this far…

Messages


💔 Breakups
I’ve been through a lot these past 2+ years. Was diagnosed with something I was told I wouldn’t survive with. As I was in the hospital and the day before I was to be discharged my wife of 7 years told me out of the blue she wanted to separate.

As I struggled with my disease I had a peace come over me that I knew I would be ok. I was really heavy and was on oxygen 24 hours a day for almost 2 years starting in 2019. I was told by all the doctors that I’d never get off it. But I knew different.

As of March of this year I’m completely off oxygen. And from October of 2020 to August of 2021 i went from 273lbs to 160lbs. All from nutrition, exercise, and a perseverance I never knew I had.

Since I’m 40yrs old, I had come to terms with never being in a relationship again. Because of what happened to me with my last relationship and because I view love as the most important thing in this world, I just didn’t want to put myself out there again and I was fine with it. I have other passions and purposes and I knew exactly where I was heading.

Then a few months back I met someone. Someone more special to me than I could have ever imagined. The way I felt about her I just honestly didn’t know existed. It seems weird to say that I’ve never experienced it before since I was married and had also been in serious relationships previously.

But this was/us different. It wasn’t infatuation or anything like that. The first time I met her she was working and had a hair net on and a mask so all I could see were her eyes. I didn’t know what she looked like at all but the connection I had with her I’d never felt before.

Long story short…we started dating a month ago and from the jump both her and I were talking marriage. We both had been through some stuff and were alike in terms of our passions, likes, and everything else for the most part.

I genuinely never felt happier to be with anyone and it really felt as though all I had been through was worth it because it led me to this moment. And everything she has said these past few months have only solidified what I knew our future would be like together.

Then out of nowhere yesterday she tells me that she wants a break. I know what that means. I wasn’t born yesterday. Maybe she really does just need time…but to me I feel as though she’s gone forever and it hurts a lot…

I have a huge heart and I’m a fighter. But I know if I fight for her it would only push her away even more.

I’m still holding out hope that she ends up feeling better and coming back to me. But I know it’s not likely.

I know what I bring to the table. I know that I’m rare in terms of what I would do for someone in terms of taking care of them and that all I want is to give her the life I know she deserves.

But she is just in a bad place right now and I can’t do anything about it.

I apologize that I’m rambling on.

I just feel extremely alone and lost right now. I’ve listened to what I felt was the right thing to do for 2+ years now. Whether it was God showing me the way or something else. I’ve proven all the doctors wrong. I was the one comforting my family and friends as I was “dying” in the hospital and after my ex-wife left me. I had so much optimism and hope.

And these same feelings of me “knowing” what I’m doing led me to this special girl who means the world to me. But now that it looks like it’s over…I’m questioning everything. Out of all of the things I’ve “known” these past few years. She was what I was most sure about.

But now if this is truly over like it feels…I don’t know anything anymore. I’m lost. I’m alone. And I don’t know how to feel better.

I’d never do anything to myself. That’s not who I am. I’ve been to very dark places with everything I’ve been through and this is another very dark one.

I just hate this so much and I feel absolutely horrible inside. I kept hoping I’d get a text from her today. I kept holding out hope and being optimistic. But all that does is make me feel worse and worse.

It would almost be better if she would just officially end it. But I don’t want that to happen. Even if there’s the slightest chance she wants us back together I have to hold out hope.

But that hope is what’s eating at me and killing me inside because I know it’s not likely at all.

I’m just in a very bad place right now.

I’ve been this way since last night and I don’t know what to do.

Love and a relationship is the most important thing in life to me. I thought I hit the jackpot. But now it just really feels like I was an idiot for thinking that I deserved someone as great as her.

It just feels like I keep getting tested or punished or something. I know I’m not perfect at all. Far from it.

But God made me with such a big heart and willingness to share and take care of others, especially a significant other. But now I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.

It feels like I’m just talking in circles now. I just downloaded this app because I’ve had such a rough time. I don’t even know if anyone uses it.

I feel like a complete fool for thinking that I actually deserved this girl. She was more than anything I could have ever dreamed of. And all she says right now…well yesterday was that she isn’t being fair to me and that I don’t deserve what she’s doing because she’s going through so much stuff.

I don’t like the it’s not you it’s me stuff and that’s what it feels like.

If she truly knows me and loves me, she’d know now much I can love and how big my heart is and that I don’t care about her baggage or things in her past at all. She’d know that I want to be there for her through anything and that there’s nothing that we couldn’t handle as a team. I’ve told her that stuff countless times.

I’m sorry I keep talking. I’m just lost right now. Thanks for listening if you made it this far…

angelkay
Hi
angelkay
You are still young enough to say
angelkay
Date
angelkay
God is great and I’m glad u know him
angelkay
There are 70 year olds still dating

Live Ended
6 people supported
 
 
October 14, 2021Uncategorizedpatthehumanbecause, been, dont, just, know, like, never, right, through, would



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